Don't be a bully!

Everyone knows I'm all about positivity so it makes me sad that I've seen so much nastiness recently. Is there really any need for it? Of course it's unrealistic expecting the world to be full of rainbows and unicorns and equally nice things all the time, but surely people don't have to be horrible for no reason?

Bullying is a very strong word but I have seen so much of it. Whether people realise it or not, that's what it is. Social media is a brilliant thing, yet it is also a place where some people feel that they can say whatever they like no matter how hurtful it is.

Look at all the celebrities or people in the public eye who receive hate messages on a daily basis. Keyboard warriors are disgusting yet they do it constantly. The YouTuber Em Ford, whose channel is My Pale Skin Blog, made a powerful video called You Look Disgusting  which has been viewed millions of times. It's about the vile comments she receives and the impact it has. It shouldn't happen but it does.

What is also horrible is people we actually know who do it too. It may be indirect and without naming names but it still equates to the same thing. It falls under the same umbrella. A few seconds of typing and pressing 'send' means your words are there for all to see. Be it blatant nastiness, sly digs or pretend sarcasm, it is the same thing.

Whatever happened to "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all"?!

Think before you speak. Throw kindness around like confetti.

If you see hate, don't encourage it. There's enough rubbish happening in the world already.

I have very strong feelings towards bullying for a few personal reasons and I believe it shouldn't be tolerated. It affects people and not just at the time it happens, yet it goes on all the time.

If you need some inspiration of how to be more kind, have a read of my previous post  which is what it should all be about!

Be a lover not a hater :-)

Ali
xx

Say yes more!! Inspired by Danny Wallace

I started most of this post a week or so back and between then and now it's been a pretty horrendous week. The mass killings in Orlando and then the horrific murder of Jo Cox 2 days ago in the town where I used to live. It's made a lot of people question what the world is coming to and a general feeling of sadness has been apparent everywhere. I am however determined to keep smiling and try and focus on the stuff I've written about below.

***********************

During my fundraising (see previous post) someone asked me if I had ever read any of Danny Wallace's books. I hadn't but I was intrigued. I bought the ones I had been recommended, Yes Man and Random Acts of Kindness.

I haven't read a book properly in ages but as soon as I started reading Yes Man I couldn't put it down. I have also been trying to establish a bit of a better night time routine to try and help with my sleep. Not watching stuff before bed is one of the things I need to stop, so I thought some reading might help relax me.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it and may want to, but the general message from the book is to say yes more. Say yes to opportunities. Say yes to having fun. Say yes to living life. Say yes to being positive! Obviously having chronic illness, saying yes is very difficult in a lot of situations but I am all for positivity and this book certainly gives you a kick up the backside!! Danny is a comedian and I laughed a lot whilst reading which is also good. Laughter is the best medicine isn't it...

I have now started reading Random Acts of Kindness which is basically a long list of things you could do to spread happiness to other people. 365 ways to make the world a nicer place. Some of the suggestions make me laugh but if everyone did at least one nice thing for someone else, can you imagine how much happier the world would be?

One of the suggestions was to write a note in a book which you are returning to the library. I have actually done that before in a book I read which was really inspiring (One Million Lovely Letters by Jodi Ann Bickley) and I love the thought of the next person reading it and smiling. I wrote something like "never forget you are amazing". I also did the same thing  in the same book I sent my friend and she cried when she found it!

The book is rather old and the idea of 'rewinding a video tape before returning it to the video shop' clearly shows how old!! Nice gesture though all the same.

The one that says 'if someone cuts you up in traffic, instead of flicking them a finger, smile at them and wave at them like a lunatic' did make me laugh.

There are loads of simple things you could do which would make a real difference to someone's day. I love random acts of kindness so much and am always sending little things to people. Try it, it makes you feel good and you make someone smile. What's not to like about that??!

I also think people don't smile enough at other people so why not try smiling at the next person who you walk past? Seeing someone smile back at you is lovely.

Or do something like buy a friend a cupcake. Send someone a card in the post. Offer to buy someone a cup of coffee! So many simple things that are actually big things when you see how much they make people feel good.

In a world where there is so much nastiness (& this week has proven just that) people really should try to make it a nicer place. Even if you can't do something for someone then just be kind. Kindness costs nothing. I've seen some really nasty behaviour too recently. Totally unnecessary and just really pathetic. Perhaps acting like that makes people feel good but I would rather feel good for doing nice things!

Let me know in the comments if you've ever done any random acts of kindness or whether you plan on doing!

Lots of sparkle


Ali 
xx

ME Awareness 2016 and fundraiser success!

It's quite a while since I've written a blog post as it was my birthday then my fundraiser so it's all been a bit manic.

I want to talk about M.E Awareness day and how proud I am of myself and Team Princess for what we achieved.

M.E Awareness day/week/month is always emotional. It's exhausting when you try to do your bit to raise awareness of this truly awful condition but when you decide to fundraise too (crazy some may say!) you know you are going to be as pooped as a pooped thing for a good while after.

Considering it was my birthday 3 days before Awareness day - the day Team Princess was doing our thing - I was already slightly wiped out before we'd even started! However, it is obviously something very important to me. I had written a status to warn people I would be posting lots on the day but to be honest if they didn't like it then tough! People who know me and know what my life is like support me (or so you would think!) so that was my thinking. Plus I would be raising as much money and awareness as I could. How can that ever be a bad thing?

The charity I chose to support is such a fantastic one so I wanted to push it as much as possible. Smile for ME, if you haven't read my previous post, send parcels of gifts to M.E sufferers and carers who have been nominated by friends or family. It is run by 2 girls who are both M.E sufferers and they rely on donations. Random acts of Kindness are a big part of my life and I love sending stuff to people, so I wanted to raise as much as I could for them to enable them to send lots of Smile parcels.

Before the event had even started I'd somehow managed to raise a big chunk of money and I very kindly received a large donation on my birthday which took me to my £300 target. It gave me a massive boost but then I panicked I wouldn't raise much more!!

My first post of the day was very personal and stated my reasons for joining Team Princess. I will share a copy of it below for you to read.  I had a lot of comments and likes, which to me was as important as raising money as it meant people had (hopefully) read what I had written.

I posted various pictures throughout the day across my social media and I couldn't keep up with the notifications of donations at one point. I was a bit overwhelmed and every single pound donated, as well as every comment or message, meant so much to me. As always, there was a bit of disappointment from some but on the whole I was blown away with people's generosity and kindness.

When my little girl came home from school she got dressed as a Princess too and we had some photos together. She loved it!

I was absolutely exhausted by evening but I was buzzing too so took a while to be able to wind down.

I also ran an auction the following weekend with prizes that had been donated by some of my favourite independent businesses. That went really well too. I really am grateful for everyone's support.

The total raised was £879.88 including gift aid. Amazing! I received some messages from Smile for ME which made my heart so happy. Knowing how much the money was going to make a real difference made me feel so fuzzy and it's the reason I pushed so much for donations. Every single person who donated I want you to know that you really have made a difference. You have helped towards putting a huge smile on a very deserving person's face. I appreciate it so much.

Team Princess managed to raise £3436.95 for various M.E charities so I couldn't be prouder. I'd like to also thank our Queenie Sian for organising everything so well and for all the support. We couldn't do it without her!

I can't stress enough what a brilliant thing it is that Smile for ME do. M.E is very isolating so receiving a parcel literally does make a huge difference to people's lives. If you wanted to make a donation to them, you can do here here.

Thank you to everyone who is there for me, who continue to support me and for all your kindness with my fundraiser. If I could give you all a big sparkly hug I would do!

Ali 
xx

38 things about me for my 38th birthday!

Yes it really is true, I am turning 38 at the beginning of May. However much I try to deny it, it is happening. Booo!

People who don't know my age usually guess at late 20's and that will do me just fine! I certainly don't feel (or act!!) my age. I did a previous blog post where I mentioned it here.

So as it's nearly my 38th birthday I thought why not tell you 38 random things about me which you may or may not already know. In no particular order let's go.....

1. I was a lawyer before M.E struck and I had to stop working

2. I have 2 middle names

3. Hardly anyone calls me by my full name and I usually get Ali or Al. Or Sparkle!

4. I used to be really really shy when I was little and people never believe me when I tell them

5. Peanut butter with jam is one of my favourite things to have on toast

6. I prefer savoury to sweet food

7. When I was little my sister pushed me into a lake and I had to walk round the rest of the place in just a Fat Willys Surf Shack t-shirt because my jeans were soaked. I  have never forgiven her

8. I love marmite

9. Glitter makes me smile lots (like you didn't already know that!)

10. I don't like boats or bridges

11. I love the sun and would like to live abroad

12. People always think I am Spanish or Italian, especially when I have a tan

13. I used to bite my nails really badly and only grew them when I was about 24

14. The sound of rain relaxes me

15. The sound of cutlery scraping on a plate makes me cringe

16. Having no fringe doesn't suit me!

17. I was a huge New Kids on the Block fan and went to 3 of their concerts. My mum came to one once and was the only one who wasn't screaming! It was at an ice rink too so was freezing. Sorry mum!

18. I had my tonsils out when I was 21

19. I don't think there is any such thing as having too much jewellery

20. Keith Lemon is my idol (not really but I'm a huge fan as you probably know already). I was lucky enough to meet him privately before one of his book signings due to not being able to queue for long because of my health. We chatted about glittery jackets and took a selfie!

21. I hate spiders

22. I have to use a wheelchair because of my M.E but I blinged it up and it looks super cool

23. One of my favourite sounds is my little girl's laugh

24. I was meant to be in a TV advert when I was about 5 but I was the only child who wouldn't stop crying so they had to pull me out

25. I did some modelling for a series of childrens' books about ballet called Scrambled Legs. I was mortified about having to wear a leotard

26. I didn't get another job after the leotard one!!

27. People who make me laugh are my favourite kind

28. I love my friends and family to bits and would be a bit lost without them

29. It makes me sad not being able to do lots of things because of my health but I'm doing well at looking at the positive rather than the negative

30. Acting silly with my daughter makes me happy. She says she likes that I'm not a boring mummy!

31. Cheese and onion Walkers crisps are my absolute favourite flavour

32. I prefer drinking from plastic cups (adorned with unicorns and such things) rather than drinking from glasses

33. I sometimes daydream about going on an American roadtrip on an old blue vintage scooter

34. I always have really vivid dreams and I sleeptalk

35. I love watching people do streetdance.

36. I'm short sighted and have astigmatism so everything is a bit blurry without my glasses

37. I love doing random acts of kindness.

38. I am fundraising for a charity called Smile for ME as part of my annual M.E fundraiser and you can donate via this link (cheeky plug!). If you fancy buying me a virtual drink for my birthday you could donate a few pounds instead and I'd be mega grateful. My previous blog post has all the information.

Thank you for making it to the end :-) Hope you enjoyed it and if anyone wants to send me glitter covered cheese and onion Walkers I'd be ever so happy!!

Ali
xx

Big girl turns 7 and our new arrivals!

It doesn't seem two minutes since I wrote this post about my little girl turning 6 last year. Time really does go fast! Now all of a sudden she's 7 and I can't get my head around it. Although she's 7 going on 17 some days..

Asking your children what they want for their birthday it is a bit of a silly question really as they often want everything they've seen their friends with, various things they have seen advertised on the TV & anything else they can think of! However this year all little Miss wanted was an electric pencil sharpener!!! She was "bursting" for one apparently. There is also something called Action Cam which is a kids' version of a Go Pro and she had been wanting to spend her pocket money on but we told her to wait until after her birthday! Of course she was delighted. We got her some other bits too but she was most overjoyed when she saw the pencil sharpener.. "WOW IT LIGHTS UP TOO"!!

One of the qualities I love about her is that she really appreciates everything so much and sat reading all her cards word for word which was lovely. She opened our card before any of her presents and came over to hug us after saying thank you. Proud mummy moment indeed.

She got so many gorgeous things (thank you if you're reading this and you gave her something!). One lucky little 7 year old.

The other thing she had been wanting for a long time was a pet. Guinea pig/s to be precise. After a lot of research and deliberation we decided we would get some. I made some phone calls and we decided on a local pet shop that has a very good reputation with animals.  They were really helpful on the phone and didn't seem to mind my many questions!

We went along to the shop and fell for a pair of 6 month old brothers. So I am very pleased to introduce our new members of the family...

Marmalade is the gingery one and Bubble is the grey one. They are Abyssinian cross breed and absolutely adorable. They were quite shy and a bit nervous at first but we have all got used to each other now and they are just lovely. I now have someone to talk to when I am in the house on my own as oppose to talking to myself (joking!) and I seem to have officially become a crazy fur baby lady :-D

They have a big play pen for during the day and they don't do a great deal more than eat and sleep. They have their mad moments when they have bursts of energy. I was thinking how similar I am to them other than the energy part!! It is encouraging me to spend more time downstairs than in bed which has to be a good thing. Obviously getting any pet is a big commitment but I'm so pleased we did. They make me feel like we've got a new baby in the house! As someone who has a chronic illness I can safely say a pet would bring you much happiness :-)

I am currently sat listening to them purring to each other whilst planning some stuff for our annual Team Princess fundraiser. I will be announcing details of the charity I've chosen very soon.

Who knew guinea pigs even purred?!!


Ali
xx

Spreading a little bit of happiness

Wouldn't it be nice if we had a switch on our bodies so that on bad days we could just say NO & make it stop!

It's been a very poorly week for me with the M.E & I've been pretty much bedbound. I know it's because I dared to do something fun.. Payback is never nice when you have a chronic illness, but it's slightly easier when you have something to show for it. If you read my previous post you will know I was going to a party with some of the Crown & Glory Glitterati girls. (The Glitterati is a montly subscription box of hair accessories for those of you who are not familiar with it)! It was a Mad Hatter's tea party to be precise & it was really lovely. I am so glad I made it & finally meeting Sophie & Gareth, as well as the lovely ladies was great. My little Miss took a shine to them both!

We were treated with delicious afternoon tea, bubbles & the most amazing goodie bags which seemed to have an endless amount of stuff in them!! There were things from some of my favourite independent businesses, as well as a special piece of Crown & Glory, so I was very chuffed. Sophie even gave my girlie a goodie bag & she was (& still is) super grateful :-)

Big thanks also to my fab friend Sian who made me some brilliant accessories to go with the Alice in Wonderland theme. I absolutely love them & had lots of comments about them so thank you sweetie!

I won't go on too much about how bad I've been as I am still trying to stay positive. My positivity did waver during the week for the first time this year but I always find that happens when mega bad days (as oppose to the usual bad ones!!) go on & on. I have started on some supplements - Q10 g Vitamin B12 - so will see how they help. I'm feeling more sparkly again now & am just taking each day at a time.

I thought I would share a few of my favourite quotes as I do love a good positive affirmation & have various ones dotted around the house. I've just put a hanging frame thing up in the conservatory with some postcards I got from Lucky Dip Club which makes me smile lots.

So I'll leave you with these...

"Don't let anyone ever dull your sparkle"

"A smile is the prettiest thing you can wear"

"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if you only remember to turn on the light"

"It may be stormy now but it never rains forever"

"Enjoy the little things in life as one day you will look back & realise they were the big things"

"When it rains look for rainbows & when it's dark look for stars"

"The butterfly is proof that something beautiful can emerge from something completely falling apart"

"The best people are those whose tutus are a little twisted" (this might be the best one!)

Keep smiling :-)


Ali 
xx

People!

That old saying "there's nowt as queer as folk" is so true. People can be funny old creatures can't they.. there is good and bad in everything but recently I've been thinking a lot about people in general.

Some people are the most amazing, kind & thoughtful beings. They are your rocks & you know you couldn't get through without them. People who put you before they put themselves and who despite having their own problems, are always there for you no matter what. They make you laugh. They make you cry (happy tears are ok!). They do little things that make a huge difference to your day. They are completely selfless & genuinely care. You can't ever imagine those people not being in your life. You don't want them to ever not be.

Other people unfortunately aren't so fabulous. They probably think they are though. Some people can be very selfish but then that's life I suppose. Then you get the ones who don't really care. They might make out they do when in actual fact they don't really. As hard as it is, c'est la vie!

Then you get people who are pretty much strangers yet they show so much kindness towards you. How does that even work? People you don't really know can sometimes be a thousand times more thoughtful than those you do. Another one of life's mysteries!

Throughout childhood, school, college & university if you go, in the workplace, socially and right through to adulthood, you will come across so many different people. Some of those people will be a part of your life forever. Some will impact on you massively but they won't always be around. Some you hope to always be there but for whatever reason it doesn't always happen. Some may be around but won't always make you feel happy. Some will make you happy just by you knowing they are in your life somehow.

Even though my daughter is such a little person, I see how much people influence her. Other children have a huge impact on her & we all know how funny kids are but they can also be mean. It breaks my heart seeing her upset sometimes but it's all a learning curve for what life will throw at you. People can be mean whatever age you are!

I suppose I'm just very grateful for the people in my life who make me smile, who think of me & who care. The people who are just there. Whether I've known them for 1 day or 30 years it doesn't matter. For every not so fabulous person there are a whole load of amazing ones.

If you're reading this & you know you're one of my rocks then thank you & I love you.

Image source verybestquotes.com 

Ali
xx

So long 2015

Here we are again.  Another year done. Can you actually believe it?

I'd love to say how much better I was but the truth is I'm not. M.E is a permanent fixture in my life & isn't going anywhere soon. It took me a lot of years to accept that & every New Year's Eve for a long time I would be full of hope that the following year would be the one when I'd get better. Full of hope for getting my life back. Full of hope full stop.

But now instead of dwelling on the things I haven't done or can't do, I am focusing on the things I have & I can. When you're chronically ill, you can feel as though your life passes you by & that you spend the majority of the time resting or generally feeling poorly, but there are lots of things we DO achieve & should be proud of. And there are many happy memories made in the process.

It's nearly time to open my memory box again - see last year's post about it here - & I will be doing it again next year. It's something nice to look back on at the end of the year & smile at the happy stuff that happened. Things that non-poorly people would likely take for granted & not consider a big deal are a big deal to us. A lot of the stuff in my box is to do with my little girl so I can't wait to read them with her. At her request we are having a party tonight (which according to her means she can eat lots of sweets & chocolate!!) so we will open it then.

2015 has been full of ups and downs but there have been lots of things that make me realise I am lucky. Yes things could be better, but I've also managed to do some fab stuff for which I am very grateful. I've picked out some of the memorable ones & they all make me smile but there are lots more too. Pictures are amazing for creating memories too & probably the reason I take so many! So in 2015...

I went to my first vintage fair & loved it

We went to Harewood House where we have membership but I don't often get there so it's extra special when I do

My girlie turned 6

I met up with Sian, one of my fab spoonie friends & we pretended to drink cocktails

I spent lots of sunny days in the garden

I had a lovely birthday & was very spoilt

I got a new camera

We had another successful M.E Princess fundraiser

I changed my hair colour

We baked

We had a lovely holiday in Majorca

We had a fun trip to Sheffield to stay with friends we met on holiday

We had fun with Autumn leaves

We went to Stockeld Park & I ice-skated on my wheels

I had a lovely spa day with my sister for her birthday

I turned the house festive

I am staying positive & am looking forward to doing more happy stuff in 2016. I've already booked to go & see my bestie in Essex and I have one of my oldest friend's wedding in October. My close friend is having a baby in March & I'm so excited! There are people I want to see more of & other spoonie friends I've met online who I want to meet for the first time so we shall see what the year brings in terms of fun! I have also decided I am going to use one of my new diaries to write something positive every day. So again I can look back & realise there are good things in each day even though it doesn't often feel like it.

Finally before I go, I want to do a quick shoutout to everyone who has been there for me this year. Whether it's to be there when I've been down or to make me belly laugh just because. And despite me having my illness, friends & family who have included me in stuff or asked me to do things even if I've not been able, I really appreciate it. I love you all!

Happy new year!

Love Ali 
xx

Mummy will your M.E ever go?

My daughter is exactly 6 & a half today which is something to smile about but this morning my heart broke a little bit. We were having a snuggle for 5 minutes before she got ready for school & out of the blue she asked me if my M.E will ever go. I told her I didn't know but that I hoped so & she told me she hates it as I can't do much with her or go out to many places & it isn't fair. Ouch.

As you may know I try to remain cheerful & try to be positive despite everything, but it totally got me & although I tried to give her some reassurance I had tears streaming down my face. I told her the stuff we do together is still nice & that this is just how it is. She said she just wishes we could do more stuff together. I couldn't agree more.

I said we would have a chat after school & write a list of some of the things we could try to do. My carer took her to school for me & the tears flowed. It isn't fair, she's so right. The pangs of envy towards other people who can do "normal" stuff are always there. I think that's understandable when you have so many restrictions & wish you could do the stuff you always took for granted.

I get so wiped out so quickly that when we go out I may not be up to driving back. Safety has to be a priority & obviously with such poor mobility I can't really walk anywhere either.

I usually have a carer with me when my husband is working & they collect my daughter from school so I am up to doing stuff with her rather than being too wrecked from the school run. However today when my carer came she was really unwell so I sent her home. The exclusive mummy time my little girl had said she wanted was happening quicker than I had planned!

I had promised her yesterday that we could bake & she never forgets stuff so it was the first thing she asked. As she can pretty much do it herself now I got everything out & she did all the work! Apart from a few bits like putting them in the oven, she did such a good job.

The finished results made her (& me) so proud! They tasted delicious too :)

After the baking I felt really tired so I had a lay down on the sofa & little Miss watched tv while she ate her tea. Then she joined me & we snuggled. My mum popped in after work & helped her have a shower so I had a quick rest.

I decided it was time for the chat & we started writing a list of things we could do. A few ideas we had were going for a hot chocolate at a local café, an ice cream at our favourite Italian deli, finding out about hiring a scooter at the park & going for a ride! Conker picking, finding leaves to do Autumn craft stuff with & going to a park to draw pictures. She also asked if we could go & watch a show at the theatre so if we do that I will have to have someone with us to push the wheelchair but I think it would be something we'd definitely both look forward to.

I am going to do a treasure hunt on our street too. I haven't told her about that one yet but I know she will love it.

I asked her what the main thing that she wanted was from what she had told me this morning & she said just to spend more time with me on her own. She said (& it really made me laugh) that because her daddy takes her out and about a lot that it's/he's a bit annoying!! She said it doesn't mean she doesn't like him, just that she wants to spend time doing stuff with me too. Bless her!!

I feel the same as she does & our afternoon today made me realise I'm not as useless as I sometimes feel.

If anyone has any suggestions for stuff we could do please leave them in the comments.

Thanks for reading :)


Ali 
xx

New look. New me?

So I may be on the wrong side of 30 but does that mean I have to act all mature & be boring? No it does not! I certainly don't feel my age. In fact when I see it written down, for example if I am reading a magazine, I automatically think of it as being quite old. Then it dawns on me that I'm the same age. And it's almost laughable as there is no way I can be. I still feel about 16 & I know having discussed this with friends that it isn't just me who feels like it. I certainly don't act it either! Having chronic illness makes you feel a bit rubbish about yourself too so whatever you can do to make you feel a bit brighter then you have to do it.

I have wanted to do something like this for a while & it's not even anything major really. It's just a bit different. I am not talking face piercings or anything too extreme just yet (a new tattoo is the next thing I want! And yes I do have a tattoo but I won't be showing you it!!). But it's something noticeable.

I am of course talking about my hair!

My long, very dark boring hair with a fringe. Pretty much the same style I had as a child.
Seriously.

I have mentioned previously when talking about the Glitterati (see previous posts if you have no idea what I am talking about!) that I have wanted to do something for a while. To not just look a bit funky but to feel it. And I finally took the plunge. My lovely friend is a hairdresser & after I drove her a bit mad with messages & colour options (sorry Debs!) she came round to the house last week & transformed me into (according to my daughter) a very cool mummy! Hurrah.

This was me that morning prior to having it done...

This was during...

And ta da... the final result!

Pink hair don't care!!!

I love it. I keep catching glimpses of it & getting giddy all over again! I somehow do feel a bit different. I can't say it's made me feel younger as I already felt like a teenager but it's just made me feel a bit better about myself.

I have gained more confidence in the last year since joining the fab group of ladies in The Glitterati  & I feel I owe my new look to them. Without them I wouldn't have done it. So if you're reading this fellow Glitterati girls, thank you & I lurve you all :-)

I've had so many comments about my new hair already & when people see it in the flesh they have all said how good it looks. Of course they might be lying but it's nice to hear all the same!! I won't be stopping at this as I have various colours to play with & I think I can safely say I won't go back to my boring hair again for a while. If ever!

Of course I've been trying some of my hair accessories on & they look so different!

I reckon if you want to do something different  to make yourself feel good then do it.

Now what tattoo shall I have done?? (Wink emoji!)


Ali 
xx