Reality hits!

My new lucky number suddenly became 3...my precious girl was born at 3.33pm on the 30th of the 3rd month!

The moment you hold your baby in your arms for the first time is one you will never ever forget. For me, it was an unbelievable rush of love for this tiny person I had created.  My baby.  Mine!  Wow.

The following hours went by in a blur really. It wasn't until the night time when all the family had left & hubby had to go home that it hit me that the little baby next to me was mine. My responsibility. My world.

I couldn't stop staring at her. Literally couldn't stop. I couldn't believe she was here.  Lying in bed with my baby sleeping on me felt amazing. When I tried to sleep it wasn't happening!

I had never intended on breastfeeding for more than the first few days, if at all. I had full support of my midwife regarding it. Because of the ME I knew it would be too much pressure on me. It would mean I would be the only one who could feed her which meant no-one else could help. Especially in the night. Some people do successfully breastfeed while suffering from ME but for me it was what I had decided.

The first day & night however I did do it to try & get colostrum into her, which is full of goodness.  That first night I must have been watching the clock continously for hours while she fed.  Literally.  It was crazy.  I had no sleep but you are on adrenalin so don't really notice it. I had some help from the staff with changing her first nappy.  All felt very surreal.

The following day the paediatric doctor came to do all the checks which were fine then it was time to go home. Eeeek.

We arrived home at 3.30pm, possibly even 3.33!  We had a few visitors when we got in, my sister met her niece for the first time as she hadn't been able to visit the previous day so that was nice.  I started feeding my baby again but suddenly from nowhere I came over really exhausted.  I thought I was going to collapse.  Had to stop mid feed, pass her to her daddy, I started crying & went to lie down. Everything just seemed to hit me.  The emotions, the lack of sleep, the total exhaustion.  I don't even really remember what happened after that.  Think I fell asleep for a bit.  And that was the start of my life as a mummy...