Memories

I am writing this while I should be resting after a hectic day.  It has been my daughter's 5th birthday as well as Mother's Day & I am lying here thinking, so thought may as well get it onto paper so to speak.

Five years since she was born. Five years since my life changed forever. In both good & some not so good ways.  Five years since I became a mummy.  A mummy with M.E.

My last post was me talking about needing to accept I needed help in the form of carers.  I will talk about it in more detail on another post as don't want to turn this into a long or detailed one.  But I will say that having carers made such a huge difference in a positive way.  All the little things that I burnt out doing before, or just couldn't even do, I had other people to do them for me.  It meant I could save my very little energy for managing to get through the day looking after my baby. Then my toddler. Then my little grown up girl!

It took a while to get used to & I didn't always have carers I liked or bonded with so had to get others instead, but it made me feel safe again. And in a funny way not quite as useless.  I continue to have care now.

I have been thinking about all my daughter's birthdays since she was born & all the fun stuff we've done to celebrate.  I feel very proud that she is such a lovely caring little girl.  Proud to be her mummy.