I'd love to say how much better I was but the truth is I'm not. M.E is a permanent fixture in my life & isn't going anywhere soon. It took me a lot of years to accept that & every New Year's Eve for a long time I would be full of hope that the following year would be the one when I'd get better. Full of hope for getting my life back. Full of hope full stop.
But now instead of dwelling on the things I haven't done or can't do, I am focusing on the things I have & I can. When you're chronically ill, you can feel as though your life passes you by & that you spend the majority of the time resting or generally feeling poorly, but there are lots of things we DO achieve & should be proud of. And there are many happy memories made in the process.
It's nearly time to open my memory box again - see last year's post about it here - & I will be doing it again next year. It's something nice to look back on at the end of the year & smile at the happy stuff that happened. Things that non-poorly people would likely take for granted & not consider a big deal are a big deal to us. A lot of the stuff in my box is to do with my little girl so I can't wait to read them with her. At her request we are having a party tonight (which according to her means she can eat lots of sweets & chocolate!!) so we will open it then.
2015 has been full of ups and downs but there have been lots of things that make me realise I am lucky. Yes things could be better, but I've also managed to do some fab stuff for which I am very grateful. I've picked out some of the memorable ones & they all make me smile but there are lots more too. Pictures are amazing for creating memories too & probably the reason I take so many! So in 2015...
I went to my first vintage fair & loved it
We went to Harewood House where we have membership but I don't often get there so it's extra special when I do
My girlie turned 6
I met up with Sian, one of my fab spoonie friends & we pretended to drink cocktails
I spent lots of sunny days in the garden
I had a lovely birthday & was very spoilt
I got a new camera
We had another successful M.E Princess fundraiser
I changed my hair colour
We baked
We had a lovely holiday in Majorca
We had a fun trip to Sheffield to stay with friends we met on holiday
We had fun with Autumn leaves
We went to Stockeld Park & I ice-skated on my wheels
I had a lovely spa day with my sister for her birthday
I turned the house festive
I am staying positive & am looking forward to doing more happy stuff in 2016. I've already booked to go & see my bestie in Essex and I have one of my oldest friend's wedding in October. My close friend is having a baby in March & I'm so excited! There are people I want to see more of & other spoonie friends I've met online who I want to meet for the first time so we shall see what the year brings in terms of fun! I have also decided I am going to use one of my new diaries to write something positive every day. So again I can look back & realise there are good things in each day even though it doesn't often feel like it.
Finally before I go, I want to do a quick shoutout to everyone who has been there for me this year. Whether it's to be there when I've been down or to make me belly laugh just because. And despite me having my illness, friends & family who have included me in stuff or asked me to do things even if I've not been able, I really appreciate it. I love you all!
Happy new year!
Love Ali
xx
