The power of positivity & goodbye 2016

2016 was the year I wanted to be more positive.  I planned to write one good thing, no matter how small, from each day in a diary and do you know what?  I succeeded. Not 100% but almost. For some reason the last few weeks I haven't been doing it much as I keep forgetting but I'd say 11 and a half months of the year is pretty good going.

There have been, as always, highs and lows this year.  It's difficult to focus on the positives too when life is plagued by illness but I wanted to make more of an effort to not let the illness and the things I can't do be the focus.  There's no getting away from it, however I really think it's helped not dwelling so much on the rubbish stuff.

I've laughed a lot, been to various special events and celebrations (2016 has been the year of being able to get dressed up & partake in socialising!), visited friends in far away places, stayed in bed watching Netflix and not felt guilty about it, got a mobility scooter (woo), made lots of memories with my girlie who makes me giggle every day and basically keeps me sane! Just living life a bit (no matter how poorly I've been afterwards!!) because isn't life for living?

I've also had two vitamin D deficiencies and been mega poorly with the M.E, had lots of funny turns and and had to spend a lot of time resting... but in spite of all that I am still smiling!  I feel grateful for the nice things and all the good people I have in my life. People who keep me going, who make me belly laugh and who are there when I need them. Despite the rubbish times I've still managed to find something good in each day.  Even if it has been something that a lot of people would discard as not important. Little things are big things for us poorly people.  I feel proud that despite being faced with many challenges, I've pretty much managed to keep positive. Not the whole time but pretty much!

Hopefully I can keep at it in 2017 and I've got some nice things to look forward to already which always helps.  I find having things to look forward to really important even if I do often panic about being well enough to do them!

The last few years I have done a memory box where I've written stuff on a piece of paper that has made me smile, made me laugh or just things I know I'd forget if I didn't make a note of. I fold them up and put them away in the box.  The tradition seems to have been that we open it on New Year's Eve but today after a bit of a rough week, I decided we should have an early sneak peek.  It's amazing how much you forget until you are prompted and you remember clearly again.  Some of the stuff made me really giggle and some just made me do a big "aaaaaaw".  I can't recommend it enough.

As much as I feel like saying good riddance to 2016 for various reasons, it's also been a year of smiles and happy times for which I'm very grateful.

Wishing you all a very happy, sparkly and as healthy as possible 2017!


Ali 
xx

All I want is to protect my girl

When you are a parent your number one priority is your child.  You love them unconditionally and you want to protect them.  There is so much evil in the world and I know realistically we can't protect them or wrap them up in cotton wool but we still try.

The last week has thrown a few issues our way and without saying too much, if someone hurts your child, it also hurts you. More than anything.  You want to be able to protect them but it's not possible all the time. You're not with them some of the time. So why does it make you feel like you have failed as a parent? That you haven't done your job properly in protecting them?

I have touched on bullying previously and it's something I hate with an absolute passion.  I know it goes on and I also sadly know a lot of people that it has affected and it breaks my heart. Why can't people just be nice? Whether physical or mental bullying, it hurts.  It causes pain.  It has lasting effects but bullies just don't care.  Their actions have serious consequences yet they just carry on doing it.  Stuff people say (which I've talked about in a whole seperate post here) can be as bad as hurting someone physically.  Physical assault though is absolutely unacceptable. As a parent it's unacceptable in a kind of 'mess with my child, you mess with me' kind of way.

I know the world can be a big bad place but it can also be a lovely one so it's difficult. Bringing up a child in a world full of horrible things and equally horrible people makes it hard to focus on the good sometimes, but that's what we need to do. Stick a big two fingers up at the bad eggs and make each day as happy as possible.  Although seeing red when someone hurts you and yours is inevitable...

I've always told my daughter that she can talk to me no matter what and that she can tell me anything.  I had/still have a close relationship with my mum and even told her the first time I was going clubbing (age 15.. my daughter won't be doing the same)!!!  I remember one night someone's parent stormed into a nightclub after finding out they were there and dragged them out.  I think knowing my mum knew where I was was better than her not knowing.  Despite my little girl not even being 8 yet, she luckily does tell me things. Some of it I sometimes wish I didn't know as hearing not so nice things are difficult, but then that's where your job as a parent kicks in and appropriate action can be taken if necessary!

If I had a magic wand I'd make the world full of rainbows and unicorns and everyone would be lovely!!  Until that happens (one can dream) I will just do my best to be there for my girl. To help her focus on the good stuff and to deal with or block out the bad. What's that thing they say... being a parent is the hardest job in the world.  They're not wrong!

(Oh and don't be a bully!)


Ali 
xx