Festive season & missing out

I am writing this because I am feeling pissed off & need to get it off my chest! My family have gone to a local coffee shop & the kids are meeting Santa. I am however too poorly to go out & yet again M.E has ruined something for me.

I have been doing well being positive lately but it's times like this when it hits you & you just feel so sad at having to miss out. Again. I have had a few very stressful things happen this week & it has all caught up with me now. If I had ignored my body & pushed myself to get ready to go out, I would likely have collapsed before even getting in the car. There have been too many times where I have made myself do stuff knowing full well I wasn't upto it & the impact is has on me is just not worth it.

The festive season is difficult for anyone suffering from (chronic) illness for various reasons. We have to try to rest as much as possible to enable us to get through & cannot join in the festivities like everyone else around us. We feel hungover when not so much as a drop of alcohol has passed our lips & the chance of a mad night out is a fine thing!

Having children at this time of year is extremely difficult as (for me anyway) you want to be doing fun stuff with them & have visions of going to Winter wonderland type places & doing things like ice skating & eating hot sugar doughnuts. The reality, if even well enough to get up out of bed in between resting, is being snuggled under a blanket whilst watching Christmas films & drinking hot chocolate. Which isn't all bad I suppose! But the way it makes you (me) feel when all you want is to be doing "normal" things is quite soul destroying.

My daughter asked if I was going with today & having to say no breaks my heart. Every time I miss out it breaks me a little bit more. Who wants to miss out on precious times where memories are made? This life is no fun.

Sorry for the slightly negative post, I just had to write while I am feeling like this. I don't want pity but this is the reality of chronic illness.  Us poorly people are some of the strongest & I wish I could give us all good health for the new year.

Never take for granted what you have & appreciate everything.

Lots of love & sparkle
ME Mummy A
xx